Here's Tommy's Official Guide to Surviving the Clown Epidemic of 2016:
1. Carry around a roll of quarters so when you punch these people, it hurts a little extra.
2. Use the Silicon Valley technique of repeating your name over and over to humanize yourself before someone attacks you:
4. Tell him you're gonna jerk him off (just make sure there's a crowd around to chant "jerk him off!"):
6. Carry smoke bombs around with you so you can make getaways like a magician.
7. Walk around with a friend that you know is slower than you so the clown will catch and attack them while you safely escape.
In all seriousness, stay safe out there people. If you see something suspicious, contact the authorities and make these weirdos go away.