Mr. Autrey, who goes by the street name “Newphew,” came under suspicion of dealing cocaine and heroin, so police began an investigation. Detectives said Mr. Autrey sold 10 bags of heroin Tuesday during a controlled purchase in West Scranton. Once the drug deal was over, they moved in to arrest him.
Mr. Autrey struggled at first until a detective used a stun gun to subdue him. They were then able to handcuff and search him. Police found $3,083 and a sandwich bag holding five bags of heroin and four bags of cocaine in his right front pants pocket, detectives said.
As a detective went to confiscate the drugs, Mr. Autrey began urinating on himself to try to get the heroin wet in the hope that it would dissolve, authorities said. A field test of the drugs came back positive for narcotics, and detectives sent the heroin and cocaine to a state police crime laboratory for further analysis.
My home away from home representing! I'm a firm believer that a website called "People of Scranton" would rival People of Walmart. (Remember when People of Walmart took over the Internet? That was fun) Scranton locals are some of the most bizarre people on this planet. For reference, they would kind of remind you of the people in the town from "Making a Murderer." Got the picture? Cool.
Now, with that in mind, I love this guy's hustle. Anything to not get caught. Now, I'm not exactly sure how heroin works. Is it a powder? Is it like meth where you have to cook it in a spoon before you put it in a syringe? Is it already in liquid form? Is it a powder? If it's a powder, then this was some quick thinking on our friend Wesley's part. If it's at all similar chemically to sugar or salt, then the thought to get everything wet so it all dissolves is genius. I'm not a big science guy, but I do remember from my integrated science class freshman year of high school that dissolving something is a chemical change, and you can't undo a chemical change. Airtight logic for a guy who makes his living selling drugs.
Unfortunately, things that look great on paper don't always pan out in practice (see: 2015 Philadelphia Eagles, 2011 Philadelphia Eagles, Cheetos chicken fries from Burger King). Wesley just ended up looking like a damn fool with a pocket full of drugs and a pair of pants full of piss. Sorry, dude. If you're gonna be the guy who pisses his pants to stop the cops from finding his drugs, you better be 200% sure that those drugs are going to melt.
Still the GOAT of hiding evidence from police: