The report says the man’s face was “covered in blood and he had multiple lacerations on his knees, elbows and feet.” Officers reported that he had a knot “almost the size of a golf ball” under his right eye.
Reports say the man was belligerent, repeating himself and saying “bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do.”
The man told officers three men pushed him in the area of the trash cans, beat him, took his clothes, and stole $700 from him.
EMS arrived to treat the man, but he was uncooperative. After 15 or 20 minutes, reports say officers arrested Mark Anthony Brooks for public intoxication. The subject was taken to Grand Strand Hospital in an ambulance.
A bar employee told police the man had been drinking at the bar the night before because it was his birthday.
Oooooorrrr, in a much more likely scenario, this old guy is a degenerate boozer who blacked out, ended up in the woods somehow, took his clothes off, fell a few times (including once on his face), and then fell asleep in a ditch. When he saw and heard the sirens, a primal instinct kicked in and he started singing the Cops theme song. That's the most likely story in my mind.
And one more thing: absolutely no way this guy was casually carrying $700 around with him, unless of course he's one of those nut jobs that doesn't trust banks (which is absolutely in play). "Get blackout and naked" guys are NOT "carry around $700 with me guys.