Homeowner April Lynn Lavender, 38, was arrested on drug charges after deputies responded to a joyriding complaint in Oak Hill, West Virginia, on Thursday morning.
But it was a bright pink note on the front door that raised alarm bells.
It read: 'Due to snitches everyone entering my home is subject to being searched. All cell phones and drinks will be left outside!! If you're not a snitch, it won't offend you if I search you!'
Fayette County sheriff's deputies questioned the two about drug sales before they were given consent to search the home, where they found heroin, methamphetamine as well as other substances believed to be narcotics.
Lavender remains in custody on a $10,000 bond after she was charged with possession of a controlled substance with intent to deliver.
Her friend Kristie Weis faces a misdemeanor for joyriding.
Now obviously, the first takeaway here is that this is the most West Virginia story of all time. Joyriding charge? Check. A meth operation? Check. Getting caught in the stupidest fashion possible? Check.
How happy do you think the state of Virginia is that West Virginia split off from them during the Civil War? Virginia is known for being this country club state with a bunch of private colleges and golf courses and shit. West Virginia is known for being a bunch of incestual hicks who do meth, chew tobacco, and drink moonshine. If these states were a family, Virginia would be the polished, but douchey cousin who's a successful Wall Street broker and makes a six-figure salary at the age of 26. West Virginia is the country bumpkin who lives on a farm and sits in a rocking chair on his porch with his shotgun sitting across his lap. The difference between these two states that used to be one is really remarkable.
But anyways, why would you go with hot pink when picking a color for your sign telling people not to be snitches? You need to be way more subtle about these things. You might as well paint "DRUGS INSIDE" across the front of the house. Jesus Christ, West Virginia. Get it together.
And what's the deal with no drinks allowed in the trap house? I get no cell phones, I get wanting to search these people, but what's the deal with no drinks? Has there been an advance in technology that makes it possible for liquids to record video/audio? That one's a head-scratcher for me.