And what's with her love of Dr. Pepper? I know some people may disagree here, but Dr. Pepper is a trash ass soda. Pepsi, Coke, any kind of Root Beer, Sprite are all at least ten times better than Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper stinks.
However, I do like that she ends the paper with "Love you." That might be my new move for papers or blog posts I write that are teetering on the edge of being terrible or not. It puts the reader in a good mood and helps them forget if I had poor grammar or structure in my paper, or if one of my takes is weak or just flat out bad.